Way Back Wednesday: I Had Suffered A Lot In My Early Years

Many friends and supporters who know me now would never believe that I struggled with my weight since I was a kid. There were many red flags that throughout my life that led to my emotional eating, child obesity, depression and drug abuse. My story is one that my relatives and my Mother's friends from the past are not going to like, but it is my true story and it made me into the woman I am today! 

From a young age, I remember asking my Mother why I didn't have a father. She told me that one day she decided to have a child and I was a "Test Tube Baby". Hearing that reference of my existence made me feel like an alien on a strange planet. Since the beginning of school I was bullied for being and looking different. My color wasn't white enough, hair wasn't straight enough, and my frame was large.  

In addition to not being accepted by my classmates, my Mother had a relationship with a man that ended up molesting me from 5 to 8 years old and would beat her, cheat on her with both sexes and had my brother and sister during that toxic period. I remember him telling me that if my Mother would ever find out about us, she would pick him over me. That pain my step father would inflict on my Mother was transferred to me by her as well. She would beat me so bad sometimes I would wonder if she was trying to kill me because I would end up pissing in my pants. My Mother would hit me with anything she could. Belt buckles, tree branches, frying pans, shoes, fists or would choke me to the point that my legs were dangling in the air. The day that she caught my stepfather in bed together she kicked me out at 8 years old blaming me for coming onto a 30 year old man. She sent me to my Grandmother's house were I remained off and on until I ran away at 16 years old. 

The worst part of this was that NO ONE IN MY FAMILY OR MY MOTHER'S FRIENDS SAID NOTHING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. They all knew how my Mother and Step-Father treated me and none of them took the time to save me from the Hell I would have to grow up in. I felt dirty bad girl and that is were my binge eating started. By the time I got to 12 years old, I was wearing a size 16 and was as heavy as my Mother. 

At 13, I had finally met the person who was my "Dad". I had now idea who he was and he declared we would get to know each other as Father and Daughter. I was so excited that finally I was a normal girl and I had a Dad like all the others. However, that did not happen at all. As soon as I left with him to Corpus, he told me how embarrassing I was to his family. He started to pick at my clothing, was displeased with my weight, didn't want me to come outside of his house, he even didn't want me talk to his girlfriend (at the time) and her daughter. I recall when I finally had enough of him and told him, "Who was he to tell me anything when he had never been there for me before". I was rewarded by him by being dropped off at a Corpus Christi bus stop and sent home. I had to call my mother from Alice, Tx. to let her know I was on my way home. After this horrible experience meeting my "Dad" I felt more than ever that I was disgusting and puked all my food out as soon as I was full. I had no I idea that I had developed bulimia and lost a lot of weight after 8th grade. I felt better about myself that I was finally able to control something in my life when everything else was out of control. 

At 15 years of age, I began to abuse cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Being high helped me deal with the problems I had at home. It was like a band-aid I could put on to stop the crying. My Mother's lifestyle was not the greatest. I commonly saw drug abuse by her and her friends. I have seen things that no young child should see which included one of my Mother's boyfriend's OD in our bathroom with a needle sticking out of his arm.

At the age of 16, my Mother had a new boyfriend. This man was the carbon copy of my step father. He would make moves on me and when I told him to leave me alone. He would then turn it around and tell my Mother that I would come on to him. My Mother and I ended up in a big fight were she ripped out a couple of my braids from my head, attack me with a iron frying pan and threw me through a wall. I had up to at that point and ran away and started to live on the streets. There was no way I could make money so I would steal, deal drugs and break into houses until I was able to get a job.

By the time I was 19 years old, I was a single mom and I didn't graduate high school. His father did exactly what my "Dad" did to my Mother. He left me after dating me for almost 2 years and denied my son. I had no other way to pay my bills, my Grandmother sold my only car, and there was the option to get on welfare. I didn't want to have the same problems and traps my Mother had with the system so I started stripping full time to take care of my son. Stripping would lead to many other problems in my life. It paid well, I was able to buy another car and a live in my own apartment. However, it also involved more alcohol, drugs and eventually a 2 year crack addiction. I was able to take care of my son financially, but I wasn't able to take care of myself emotionally. I was suffering from extreme depression and the crack would take all those sad feelings away. 

To be continued.......

How To Stay On Track During Holidays and Vacation!

We are 3 months into 2017 and our first vacation period, Spring Break, has passed. Many people start out strong with the "New Year New Me" campaigns, but when a person spends more than a week or 2 away from working out they are more than likely to have a harder time staying on track. Some don't have the will to come back. I have already seen how some of my boot camp and online clients have had a tough period staying consistent during this Spring Break season. Next fitness goal booby traps coming up are Easter, Graduation, and Summer. So, how are you supposed to keep your fitness goals in check during these days? It is pretty simple: Follow the program

Number 1: Your Fitness Goals Are Not Their Fitness Goals

You have to remember that every time your family or friends who doesn't support your fitness goals in some way. Make sure when planning to travel you pick a hotel that has an adequate size gym. If you are traveling with a growing family you will have to tolerate seeing them eat things that you can't have. As head (or one of the heads)of the family, you should always promote healthy eating for the benefit of healthy growing kids. However, depending on your goals there are going to be things you are going to have to sacrifice food wise. You are going to have to workout around their schedules. If you know you are going to busy with the family then get your workout done in the morning before they are up or when they are busy with other activities. Same thing goes for your best friend or gym buddy. They are more than likely not going to stay on plan with you. So you are doing to have to be prepared to workout on your own. 

Number 2: You Don't Have To Eat Bad In Order To Have A Good Time

One thing a lot of people do is connect food with emotions. Food is just fuel for the body. You can go on any vacation spot and find healthy food that you can eat with the family or friends. Just because you can't have a 3 lbs. donut doesn't mean you can't have good time. You are still going to see and do all the great and fun things to do on vacation or the holidays. In addition, eating healthy gives you energy to keep going and exploring if you are visiting an unknown area. Eating high fat and sugar foods will only rob your body energy to be a tourist and to keep up with your workout program while out of town. 

Number 3: You Don't Have To Get Buzzed or Drunk Every Day You Are On Vacation or Holiday

Another booby trap for weight-loss and muscle gains is alcohol. Drinking more than the daily legal limit (2 a day) can hamper your fitness goals and can get you in great trouble legally. Alcohol is pretty much drinking fermented liquid from sugary plants or fruits. It is loaded in calories and carbs. Depending on the caloric intake of your preferred alcoholic beverage you can easily drink from 55 - 1,000 calories per drink. In addition, you mitochondria doesn't really know how to process alcohol so the body stores it has fat. Alcohol also inhibits protein synthesis. This is why most of us bodybuilders cut the alcohol as soon as we start prepping for show. 

Number 4: Pick Tourist Spots That Require Some Level of Activity

While I was in town for the 2016 WNBF World Championships in L.A., I took some time to check out Topanga State Park! It was a 2 hour hike and I used it in conjunction with my final prep for show. It was a great experience that brought me to tears once I reached the top of the canyon! 

In conclusion, you have to do the time if you want to reach your fitness goals. Taking time off from training and eating clean will have the opposite effects that you want. So why sabotage yourself? You are the one that will be upset and losing you investment with not following the program. Not the people who try to steer you off course. I have had a client gain almost 20 lbs in 2 weeks of not training, eating bad and drinking too much alcohol. It can sneak up on you before you know it and it is 5x harder to lose weight than it is to gain.